Thursday, May 24, 2007

Devastating evening...

I know that this is brand new blog and many of you do not know me all that well. Let me assure you that normally, I am a really upbeat person who can almost find the positive in any situation.

Yesterday, I wrote about my Dad and his multiple myleoma. Tonight he called to tell me that they are starting him tomorrow on chemo as his kidneys are failing rapidly at this point and they are trying to avoid putting him on dialysis. (If the chemo does not work quickly, he will most likely be on dialysis within the month.) They are looking at sending him back to Cleveland Clinic to look into a double bone marrow transplant once the chemo is finished. After that, they will see if he is eligible for a kidney transplant. (At this time, he is not eligible for a kidney transplant because the cancer would just kill the good kidney.)

I am trying to keep a positive spin on this, but I am really struggling right now. In fact, I would say that I am pretty devastated right now. I adore my Dad - and not just because he is my Dad. I adore him because he truly what it means to be a good person. I have absolutely NOTHING bad to say about him and I am a little lost right now.

Just let me rant a bit: This is SO not fair! He was just married in March and for the first time since my Mom died over 8 years ago, he is happy again. It just doesn't seem right. I am just so angry at the injustice of the whole situation.

Ok - I'll stop for now - anybody out there feel like posting to this message? I could use some encouragement at this point. Or a good laugh. Or even a stiff



Beytia5 said...

Hang in there and give your dad lots of love. He needs your strength even if you're not feeling strong. He, and you, will be in my prayers. Kelly (Tresijas)

tigergirl said...

You really are having a bad run, your poor Dad! I feel so bad for you, I'm lost for words. I sure hope things start getting better for you, and soon!

Julie said...

Thank you Kelly and Tigergirl! I appreciate the thoughts at this point. I just needed to vent and my blog was the only place I could do that right now. Don't think I will be getting a whole lot of sleep tonight either...*sigh* I am going to try to go lay down in a few minutes.

Calyx Ann said...

I'm so sorry to hear your news. My mother just passed away this last holiday season and it was tough for me especially, because I live so far away that I was really removed from the events as they were happening. I didn't know how serious things really were until I got home and she was released from the hospital into hospice two days later. She died peacefully without pain 5 days after that.
I hope so much that your father is able to beat the whole ordeal and carry on with his life. Enjoy him as much as you can, and try to keep a happy face:)

Lanedesigns said...

Sorry to hear about your Dad. He will be in my thoughts and prayers!!
Stay strong!!

PAEllisVisionArt said...

All I can say to you is please don't lose heart! My Dad was diagnosed with esophagial cancer 2 1/2 years ago. He had just turned 70 at the time. This type of cancer is usually an immediate and sure death sentence. The doctors basically just wrote him off. But that is something you just don't do to my Dad. He demanded treatment so they obliged. He did round after round of chemo and radiation (pretty tough but he kept a positive attitude and we did too - more like stubborn maybe) and then in January of 2006 they felt he was able to have the surgery available to remove his esophagus. Again they (the drs) didn't think he'd pull through but he did and he is still here today. He still has cancer in other areas of his body so he has ongoing mild chemo on a regular basis now through a catheter in his artery...3 days on 4 days off. We know that time is ticking by for him and this won't go on forever but, none of us will be here forever either. We believe that you're not going anywhere until your time is up and you've done all that you needed to do here.
The point I'm trying to make is this. No matter what the projected outcome, no matter what anyone's opinion (including, if not especially the Doctors) the most important thing is to keep a positive attitude. Try to find happiness where ever you can. In the midst of the scarey times, look for happiness in whatever way you can. This is pretty potent medicine in itself. The spirit and the mind are far more powerful than the body. Keep your spirit strong!
I am sending light and love your way to keep you, your Dad and whole family strong during this time. Cry when you have, to scream when you must, but remember to laugh as many times as you can. Search as hard as you can for this light of happiness, it will get you through.
With love and well wishes for you all,

Linda said...

Just keep praying! Your Dad really needs you, your love, and your being positive!!! This is horrible
for you, and really horrible for your Dad!!! You'll both be in my prayers.

vent when you need to--you need to let go of the anger and negativity--even if it's for a short time!


Renate said...

Whish there is anything I could do. Stay strong, I'm sending positiv vibes and hope it's getting better soon.